![]() ![]() You can let him know that you are paying attention and trying to understand how he feels by saying, “It seems like you are upset or “It sounds/looks like something is bothering you”. For example, your child may be crying but you may not know if he is angry, scared, or sad. Take a guess even if you are unsure. There may be times when you are unsure what your child is feeling. Reflection of emotions is not always easy. This gives your child a word for the emotion and helps him see that it is ok to talk about feelings. ![]() When you reflect your child’s emotions, you watch your child’s behavior and describe the emotions he seems to be having. You can add detail, shorten, or correct what your child has said. You don’t have to repeat exactly what your child said but what you say is usually very similar. This increases the chance that your child will talk more because he wants your attention. When you reflect your child’s words, you are giving attention to him for his use of words. This lets your child know you are actively listening. When reflecting your child’s words, you repeat what your child has said. You can do this by repeating back what your child has said or by labeling and summing up how you think he feels. Reflection is one way for you to show you are actively listening to your child. Active listening can be a great way to help her. Sometimes a child who is upset may not be able to name the emotion she is feeling. He knows that his emotions and feelings are important to you. You say, “It sounds like your brother made you feel sad when he hit you and said mean things.” By doing this, you have let your child know that he has your full attention. You stop what you are doing, turn to him, make eye contact, and summarize what he has told you and how he seems to be feeling. You are tempted to keep making dinner while nodding your head at what your child is saying, but then you decide to show him you are actively listening. ![]() He comes and tells you that his brother hit him and called him a bad name. While the kids play, you quickly start making dinner. You have no idea how you will get it all done. You only have a short time to make dinner, help with homework, and get everyone ready for the game. But our children need to know that we are going to listen to them. It is sometimes tempting to brush off our children’s problems, especially if we have had a bad day, if we are busy, or if our child seems to have the same problems over and over. A strong relationship with your child will make it more likely she will talk with you about her hopes and problems when she is older. As your child grows, if you continue to actively listen to her, your relationship will continue to get stronger. When you actively listen to your young child, a strong relationship develops. You reflect or repeat back what she is saying and what she may be feeling to make sure you understand. ![]() You make eye contact, stop other things you are doing, and get down on your child’s level. When you are actively listening, you give your full attention to your child. It lets your child know you are interested in what she has to say and want to hear more. Active listening is a good way to improve your communication with your child. ![]()
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